How do you have a "True Marriage?"

We are not experts. In fact, what we have learned has been through trial (after trial after trial) and error (after error after error) in the last 8 years! However, we are much closer to a "True Marriage", as I think all who are married that desire a successful and healthy marriage, are. We are constantly looking at how to mend the broken places, whether big or small, in our marriage. Recently, a very serious issue came up that caused hurt for both of us. We had to choose whether we were going to allow this thing to cause us to become self-centered and focus on how hurt we were or focus on how we could use this scenario to forgive, correct and edify one another. It's not easy. Everything in you says, you hurt me so you deserve to hurt just as much. We have a tendency to love and forgive those that aren't as close to us more quickly or with more understanding. Not only does God call us to set the example for others but he calls us to set the example for our spouses. Your first and most treasured ministry is to your spouse and the greatest impact you will make in this life will be on him or her. So how can I have a "True Marriage?" You continually put your spouse first. You think of them before you say those awful things you want to say. How will what I am about to say affect my spouse? How can I communicate so that they are edified and not demoralized? This is a big one. I can't tell you how many times I've communicated to Robert in a way that left him feeling disrespected and unimportant. You think of them before you make decisions, financially, spiritually, career-wise, etc. or even little things that affect them. You think of them during the day. How can I make them feel loved and appreciated today? What little or big thing can I do to lift them up? You think of them in your actions when you're away from your spouse. Are my interactions with those of the opposite sex respectful of my spouse? Would they appreciate how I communicate with my coworkers or friends? There's also tough love. I know I'm one to shy away from confrontation. I don't like it and probably never will. But I've found it necessary especially for a healthy marriage. Tough love is seeing an area in your spouse's life that needs correction and addressing it in 100% love with the only motivation being to serve your spouse and pointing out something that could be hindering them spiritually, emotionally, physically, etc. True Marriage is accomplished by thinking of the other person first. Imagine if both you and your spouse were thinking of one another before yourselves. Imagine the unconditional love and trust that would abound in that relationship. This verse sums it up, "For you, brethren, were [indeed] called to freedom; only [do not let your] freedom be an incentive to your flesh and an opportunity or excuse [for selfishness], but through love you should serve one another." Galatians 5:13. We have been set free from unforgiveness, fear, anger, self-centeredness, etc. so that we can love and serve freely and genuinely. True freedom is found in serving one another. I pray this week that your marriages and mine would have a foundation built on serving one another and that you and I would be one step closer to a True Marriage. And Happy Thanksgiving to you and your families! Many many blessings! Until next week! Laura