The "One"

I recently had a chat with a friend who is single about the "one." Basically, they were saying they didn't know if the person they're dating is the "one" and they were expressing anxiety and pressure over it. I think this idea of finding the "one" is pretty distorted nowadays. What I mean by this is while I think you need to pray about your future spouse and ask God about the person you're dating, I think the more important focus should be on the person in front of you. Who is this person, are they compatible with me, could I see our lives together based on who they are and not whether or not they are the "one". Don't base your decision on a romanticized idea that the "one" is waiting for you. You ultimately decide whether you want to spend your life with someone and that someone will not come into your life and all of sudden you will have a perfect marriage and a perfect life BECAUSE they are the "one." And there's not a situation where your life won't be truly happy or fulfilled because you didn't choose the "one" and you settled for someone else. Happiness and fulfillment do not lie in the hands of a person. Of course, if you are in a relationship where you are being manipulated or abused you should probably not marry that person and might want to seek professional help and/or end that relationship. With that said, the bottom line is marriage takes a lot of effort regardless of who you are with. Marriage is a major undertaking that yields amazing and beautiful results. The "one" will be the person you marry and until then they aren't yours to claim. They're not your "one" person until you vow your life to each another in the covenant of marriage. Marriage in many ways is a huge leap of faith. You don't know what the future holds. You can know a person really well and still they may (more than likely) let you down in some way or another. I encourage single and dating people to not put pressure on the person their dating to be the mysterious "one." People are more complicated and relationships are more complicated than just is he/she or isn't he/she the "one". You choose your spouse. That's the truth. You choose them with amazing qualities and bad qualities. You choose them as they are and you will continue to choose them throughout your whole marriage. You will choose them when they hurt you. You will choose them when they fail. You will choose them for the rest of your life through the good and the bad. There's a reason the standard marriage vows are for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, til' death do us part. The "one" means nothing more than the person you choose and promise to ride the roller coaster of this life with. Choose wisely, ask God to guide you, get input from trusted family and friends but don't wait for the "one" or compare the person in front of you to this mythical "one"; This supposed perfect individual that will complete your life. The "one" will be standing at the altar with you on the day you choose to spend the rest of your crazy beautiful life together.