Talking About the Tough Stuff

Recently, a beautiful friend of mine reached out to me for prayer and a little advice. Her and her wonderful husband have been married a short time and have been learning what marriage is all about. They recently came across an issue from the past they hadn't thoroughly dealt with. Her husband had an inappropriate relationship with a woman right before they met. An unexpected pregnancy occurred and the woman, on her own accord and without telling anyone, decided to get an abortion. My dear friend, at this time in their marriage, was finally getting to a place where she knew there needed to be a tough conversation about this past incident as there hadn't been enough conversation about it so far. Part of her hesitation in bringing it up was that since it happened in the past and it didn't involve her she didn't feel like she had a right to know the details of it. Oftentimes we feel like this in our marriages but it's not true! When you marry someone you marry their past, present and future. You get everything and everything that has happened in the past affects you. In not talking about this huge incident she felt like she couldn't move on from it. She wanted to feel confident that she and her husband had healed from this and for that healing to take place she needed to ask some tough questions! It's like taking the bandages off a wound that's healing. It hurts to open that wound to the fresh air but it's also necessary to do that for healing to take place. She was strategic in her approach and wrote down all the questions she had about the incident so that no stone was left unturned. After their tough conversation she shared with me that it went really well! They both were able to cry and laugh and give each other complete transparency. God uses these tough conversations to bring healing, unity and deeper intimacy into our marriages. The longer we go without having them the more time the Enemy has to divide the two of you and create discord among you. Is there a tough conversation you need to have? Something that's been weighing on your heart or been lingering in the back of your mind? I challenge you to ask God to give you the wisdom and words to speak to your spouse about it so that He can bring healing and wholeness to you and your marriage.  "Confess to one another therefore your faults (your slips, your false steps, your offenses, your sins) and pray [also] for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart]." (James 5:16 AMP)