When Team Work Goes Awry
I tend to be an advocate for fairness and justice in almost every area of my life. I tend to want to make sure the scales are always in balance. That people are being treated fairly and with tremendous consideration. Most of the time keeping this balance works well but sometimes it can work to the detriment of relationship. I'll explain what I mean shortly. We tend to view marriage as a team. Two people focused on and working toward something. Two people carrying a load. This is a great outlook to have on a marriage but it can also go awry. At times a team will rely on one teammate more than others. We see this in sports often. These people are considered MVPs which means Most Valuable Player (keep that in mind as you read). Most Valuable Player is awarded to someone for many reasons but typically this person is awarded MVP for their ability to carry a team in times of difficulty or pressure. They have the ability to rally people, score points, and produce game winning moments. In marriage, as a team, sometimes there's one person that carries the team more than the other. Since I'm such a fan of balance and fairness I have a hard time with this. I tend to keep a record (in my head) of what you do and what I do and I can get a little (ok.. REALLY) irritated when the records aren't balanced (keep in mind I am a bookkeeper by trade).
God's been working on my heart when it comes to this. There's nothing wrong with a good balance but there's also times when the scales are going to tip. When the scales tip love needs to be the priority not balance.
Love gives even when it doesn't receive. Love goes the extra mile.
I think there's a fear that if I give more than the other person then I will be taken advantage of. In marriage, we have to allow ourselves to give more than we receive sometimes. If you think about marriage in comparison to our relationship with God, in regards to balance, the scales are tipped big time. Jesus gives more than we do. He's the MVP of our relationship. In light of Him and all He gives to us we can give ourselves more to our spouses. We can allow the scales to be tipped more often and go the extra mile. Instead of looking at ourselves as the one carrying the load, we should look at it like we are the MVPs right now of our relationship. Sometimes your spouse will be the MVP and sometimes you'll be the MVP. But a true MVP cares more about the success of the team not whether or not everyone is carrying their load. Let love be the priority in your marriage not balance. Go the extra mile for your spouse.
