Trust: A Leap of Faith
Trust has been the number one thing I've had to really start from the bottom and learn to do in my 32 years of life. Trust is something that did not come naturally to me, even as a child. I have always had a hard time trusting that people don't have ulterior motives. I honestly don't know where exactly this stemmed from but it's been something I've had to really overcome and am still overcoming. You always hear people say good relationships are built on trust. And it's true. Think about it. There's technically only one person on this planet that you spend every waking moment with, that you share your bed with, you share your body with, that you make other humans with. What if you can't trust THAT person? Who can you trust? Marriage has a way of challenging with whom your trust lies. First and foremost, our trust is to be 100% with our Creator.
Trusting God is an anchor for all the other "trust" relationships we will develop
We have to know that, without a doubt, God will not let us down. He is the one being that will never fail us. Deuteronomy 31:8 says, "Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you." When all the people in my life have failed me, He will never ever fail me. And when those people fail me there's hope because He will not fail me and His not being able to fail me fills the holes that human failure leaves behind. This doesn't excuse people from hurting you. There still needs to be healing in you and the other person BUT the fact that God's love never fails us makes us able to move forward in a healthy way. All that said, trust with your Creator is a MUST for healthy living and healthy marriage. As your trust with God is established, trust with your spouse becomes easier. Trust within marriage is built on communication. Our willingness to share the difficult along with the awesome is key to having trust with one another. When we open up to one another it says to the other person, I trust you to see me as I am and I trust you to respond well.
It says I'm opening myself up in a leap of faith that you will receive me and love me.
The actual definition of trust is firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. When you trust your spouse you have a firm "belief" in their reliability, their truthfulness, their ability or strength. This definition does not say trust is the knowing by proven facts that a person is reliable, truthful, able, or strong. Trust is the firm "belief." Trust is actually an act of faith. This doesn't mean you blindly continue to trust someone who has hurt you but in order to establish trust initially or establish it again you have to allow yourself to believe in the other person. For those of us that struggle with trust, this is not easy to swallow and actually sounds unhealthy. You might be thinking, "They should prove they are trustworthy before I trust them." That's actually not how trust works. If that's how trust worked then no one would be able to have any type of relationship. Trust is something that has to take place in order for relationship to be established or re-established. The only way trust would not be necessary is if we were able to crawl into someone's mind and hear their thoughts and feel what they're feeling. Since we can't do that we have to believe the other person. Robert and I have had many conversations about trust and both of us have failed each other in being trustworthy in the past. However, we have never given up pressing through and believing in each other again. In order to build trust, both parties have to be willing to believe in the other person and take a leap of faith. I would much rather have a marriage where trust was broken but was re-established then have a marriage where trust was broken and never re-established and we lived our whole lives disconnected from one another in fear and anger. Hopefully, trust never gets broken in your marriage and you never have to worry about this but if it has or does, don't let it stay broken. Believe again, trust again and let your heart remain open. God is faithful to help you with trust. He will neither fail or abandon you.
